NOTES
Standing atop a tree, Klay looks down at his friends standing below him. He grins at them, knowing that he is going to win the bet he made with his friends earlier. The bet was that once Klay reaches the topmost branch, he will be a hundred dollars richer. With the thought in mind, Klay wipes perspiration off his forehead and reached for the last branch at the top of the tree. A loud siren blares out, jolting Klay to lose his balance and…
-continued from Nana’s Opener-
almost fall to his death if it weren’t for a large branch beside him that he managed to grab hold in time.
“What the hell was that!”, he shouted down the tree. No response. Did Tim and the others bail on him? Or was it just a stupid practical joke meant to halt him from reaching his goal? After a few moments, Klay decided to continue climbing to the top of the tree. If the siren was meant to disorient him, it didn’t work. He was going to get his hundred bucks, fair and square. Klay reached for that last branch and pulled himself up, out of the huge surrounding leaves that seemed to blot out the sunlights from reaching the undergrowth below.
Klay heaved a sigh of relief and looked around the surrounding area triumphantly. As he searched the grassland below for his friends, his pride slowly faded to horror. Something was definitely wrong. A few metres from the tree which Klay stood on, the grass was brown. The trees were leafless and dead. There was no life visible. Not even the singing to birds usually present in the afternoon. It wasn’t like this before he climbed the tree. You could see the wide grassland that was teeming with wildlife all around. Was this a nightmare? Klay pinched himself until he winced. Definitely not a dream.
Elements Of Dialogue
- Dialogue Reveals Character
- A Character will talk about himself and other people will talk about him.
Dialogue Establishes Relationships Between Characters
- Once you have established your main character’s POV, you can use dialogue with other characters to show that they have other attitudes, creating opposite/alternative POVs.
- This helps to create and sustain the element of CONFLICT between characters.
Good Effective Dialogue Will Move The Story Forward
Dialogue Communicates Faces and Information To The Audience
- It conveys essential exposition.
- Characters will talk about what happened, establishing the storyline.
Dialogue Comments On The Action
Dialogue Ties The Script Together
- It is one of the devices that YOU as a writer can use to expand and enlarge your characters.
Elements Of Dialogue
“If you can see or hear it, don’t write it.”
-Neville Smith
- Dialogue should be used sparingly
- Never tell the audience what they can see for themselves.
<<DIALOGUE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR ACTION>>
Common Mistake
- Students sometimes never achieve a level of competence as they tend to reproduce conventional spoken language, long statements of “REAL TALKING”, and defend their decision by telling us that:
“It’s how the character speaks.”
GOOD DIALOGUE is not somebody’s ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life.
- If that was all there is to it, you can just push a button on the tape recorder and then go collect your Oscar.
GOOD DIALOGUE is the illusion of reality.
- You’ve got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit.
Writing Exercise:
Wife: What have you been doing outside?
Man: Nothing, dear. Just a few drinks with my friends!
Wife: Why haven’t you called back to tell me? I spent all day doing chores and cooking your favourite dishes, and this is the thanks I get???
Man: I’m really, really sorry dear… I’ll inform you when I go off drinking with my mates again alright?
Wife: Mates??? What kind of mates??? Have you been drinking your ass off with that slut of a secretary of yours?
Man: What? No! Its just with Jimmy and the others from high school!
Wife: Don’t you lie to me, <insert husband’s full name>. Tell me honestly. You’ve been staring at that cat’s ass again haven’t you?
Man: What? This is getting ridiculous. She is my secretary, woman. And I can’t work properly at my workplace if you keep putting these images of her in my mind. It’s awkward!
Wife: See! You do admit to seeing her in your mind!
Man: That’s because you planted them in there.
Wife: I don’t care! You are my husband and your job is to be faithful to me, mister. No lollygaggin’ outside!
Man: Wha-What?? You know what? Screw dinner! I’m going to bed. Good Night.
Wife: You stay right there, Mister <insert husband’s surname>. You walk through that door and we’re over, you hear me????
Alternate Dialogue:
Mum: “Where have you been? Out with your friends again? You never tell me when you’re out late at night! I work all day and when I come home to rest, I don’t see either <insert my name> or your face! I don’t even know what you guys are doing outside. Who know’s what trouble you’re getting into. Are you going out with other women? Just because you’re out drinking with your friends, doesn’t mean you don’t have to tell me. You know what? Next time, don’t even bother coming to me for anything in the future. I’m not going to talk to you.” *walks into room and slams door”
Dad: …
Me: ….
Dad: “Want to go out for some coffee?”
Me: “Sure.”
Storytelling Tool 1: Observation
Adopt a KEEN EYE.
Develop a natural SENSE OF CURIOSITY.
- An observed event, when subject to simple questions, can set up a sequence of possibilities that will develop into a story worth telling.
Exercise: Awareness Level
- People rarely observe familiar people or things closely.
- Most people pass through the day with 20%-30% awareness.
MINDLESS OBSERVATION vs TRUE OBSERVATION
OBSERVE in a conscious way.
DEVELOP the ability to SEE and RECORD people:
- Their MOVEMENTS
- Their PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS
- The SETTING/PLACES they’re in
EXERCISE: PEOPLE-WATCH
1. Walk into the canteen/library, etc. and watch people pass by.
2. Eventually, one will catch your attention.
3. Write down as many details as possible through observation.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 for a second character.
5. Transcribe all these details into “PEOPLE-WATCH” page that you will create on your blog.
Characterization: Defining The Character
A Story Starts With A Character
<Without a character, there is no action.>
<Without action, you have no conflict.>
<Without conflict, you have no story.>
<Without story, you have no screenplay.>
Developing Characters
Characters should have a 3-Dimensional Structure
A) Physiology
B) Sociology
C) Psychology
A) Physiology
Sex
Age
Height, Weight
Colour of hair, eyes, skin
Posture
Appearance
Defects, abnormalities, deformities, birth marks, diseases.
Heredity
B) Sociology
Class (lower, middle, upper)
Occupation: type of work, hours of work, income, condition of work, attitude towards organization, suitability for work.
Education: amount, kind of schools, marks, favourite subjects, poorest subjects, aptitudes.
Home Life: parents living, earning power, orphan, parents separated/divorced, parents’ habits, parents’ mental development, parents’ vices, neglect, character’s marital status
Religion
Race, Nationality
Place in the Community; leader among friends, clubs, sports
Political Affiliations
Amusements: hobbies, books, newspapers, magazines he/she reads.
C) Psychology
Sex Life, Moral Standards
Personal Premise, Ambition
Frustrations, Chief Disappointments
Temperament: choleric, easy-going, pessimistic, optimistic
Attitude Towards Life: resigned, militant, defeatist
Complexes: obsessions, inhibitions, superstitions, phobias
Personality: extrovert, introvert
Abilities: language, talents
Qualities: Imagination, judgment, taste, poise
I.Q.
What is the deep and personal secret this character has which he is desperate to protect/ hide?
INTERIOR
The interior life takes place from birth until the moment you story begins.
It is a process that forms character. [when you start formulating your character from birth, you see your character build in body and form.]
EXTERIOR
The exterior life takes place the moment your story begins to it’s conclusion.
It is a process that reveals character.
Developing Characters
You must create your characters in relationship to other people or things.
The Role Of Conflict
Conflict is the central feature of the screenplay
-man against man
-man against environment
-man against self
It’s variations of sex, age, religion and culture which provide variety to the Conflict.
Conflict = Change
Change is common to everyone.
Change is universal.
As universal as change may be, people often resist it for fear of the unknown.
People must learn to cope with change if they want to survive.
The action in drama depends on conflict.
Definition
(Opposition of persons or forces)
It is the interaction of opposing ideas, interests, or wills, and creates the plot.
Plot cannot be constructed without conflict.
As your characters attempt to reach their goals, they come into conflict with each other.
The end of the story nears when the protagonist and antagonist approach their goals and the conflict rises to generate maximum suspense and excitement.
Creating Conflict
The protagonist and antagonist must be locked together with no possible compromise between them.
This is done by having characters of strong conviction and purpose who will fight for what they want.
The more evenly matched they are, the stronger the battle will be and the more suspense will be aroused.
Dynamic Action
<<Story Is Action>>
Action encompasses any kind of movement, activity and interaction between the characters and also between the characters and their surroundings.
Talking about how one feels is not as powerful as illustrating why one feels the way they do through action.
<<Film Is Behaviour>>
Action is the manifestation of behaviour.
The complexity of the human psyche and interaction is better understood when it is possible to watch the actions, nuances and reactions of the characters.
<<Dynamic Action>>
Has the potential to enrich the experience of the audience by heightening the stakes and increasing the tension.
Moving Pictures
The power of any story lies in the narrator’s ability to project a mental picture for the audience.
>>PURPOSE OF THE EXERCISE
Addresses the problem many newbies have to screenwriting:
How to convey visually sense of inner conflict of emotion.
Interactive Location
Location is:
– A physical location
-A place in which events occur and characters interact
Interactive Location is:
-A physical setting and surrounding that Interacts with the characters of the film by positively heightening their action.
It can enhance the impact of the action and heighten stakes.
Eg, a high rise building invokes more suspense than a low rise building if a character is afraid of heights and has to leap between two buildings.
STORY ASSIGNMENT
Write a 1st Draft of an Original 1-2 page story.
(Note: Give your story a title)
Write it in a 3rd Person Narrative/Present Tense
Use 12-pt Courier/Single Spaced
No Less than 1 page and No More than 2 pages.
Besides writing your Name, Student Number and Tutorial Group, also label your story as “1st Draft”.
DUE THURSDAY 24 MAY 2012 (NEXT WEEK!!) BY CLASS TIME.
PRINT 1 COPY AND BRING TO CLASS.
Remember Film is a Visual/Aural Medium.
“SHOW” VERSUS “TELLING.
Exercise: Letter To Someone From The Past
This could be a person whom you can no longer speak to.
Could be someone you completely lost touch with
Even someone who is dead
You should describe yourself exactly as you are in present time and then try and contrast that image with how you were earlier, when you and the recipient were together.
Entries to be posted on your blogs under the page “Letter To The Past”.
You can password-protect your page – just remember to let me know the password so I can grade you!
Review Exercise 4: Letter To The Past
>>Purpose Of The Exercise
-The letter is a practical, personal example of how a character – YOU – undergo an inevitable process of change.
-This process of change is an essential ingredient of any effective story.
-In dramatic writing, the very essence is character change.
Storytelling Tool 2: Memory
-Your memory is a wonderful cabinet of past incidents which you have experienced or been told.
-These memories are points of reference to your own past existence.
TIP:
-WRITE what you do not know because you will find some part of you that does know.
-THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR PERSONAL DISCOVERY!
Storytelling Tool 3: Experience
-A storyteller should be concerned with the potential of every experience.
-Everything about you – where you were born, what food you eat, the bump on your forehead – your experiences are unique and irreplaceable.
TIP:
-If you don’t know what to do with a character, make him yourself for a while.
-See how he relates to the world he has been thrown into.
>>>PLUNDER YOUR OWN PERSONAL BACKGROUND!
The things that happen to you as you grow up and the things that are currently happening to you make terrific story sources.
Exercise 5: True & False Stories
-Write 2 short stories
-One is completely TRUE
One is completely FALSE
Only the author knows which is which!
>>Purpose of the Exercise
-Life is unpredictable
-In a story, we can and must control the events and sequences so that it gives the appearance of being like life.
Summary – Storytelling Tools
1: Experience
2: Memory
3: Observation.
Review: Week 1-5
-Week 1
-Writing in third person
-Writing in present tense
-Writing in the visual voice
-Week 2
-The role of conflict/creating conflict
-Elements of dialogue
Week 3.
-Characterization : definning the character,
-Develeping character
FILMS
The Call Home – Hang Yew Kwang
NEXT LESSON
REMINDER
WRITTEN QUIZ
Week 7 (30th May 2012)
Worth 10% of your overall grade.
STORY ASSIGNMENT (20%)
WRITING IS REWRITING
Revision and Rewriting
-Rewriting is not JUST REWRITING.
It’s RETHINKING, RECONCEPTUALIZING and APPROACHING NEW THINGS.
Everyone should at least try and rewrite their stories 5 times.
You will never find out what is really in you until you write and rewrite.
This doesn’t mean just polishing phrases.
TIP
-Study your story, see it with a new vision and changed values.
-Write it afresh.
-Then maybe scrap it, start all over again – don’t be afraid to do this!
REFLECT ON THIS!!
The inclination of the egoist is to get as much as he can, but at the same time not to change.
THE FINAL DRAFT
1) READ WITH A FIXED EYE.
-Re-read through your story carefully.
-Focus on a particular aspect each time, ie, character.
Ask yourself:
– “Is the protagonist ALWAYS the focus of the story?”
– “Is he/she doing anything or is everyone else always doing stuff around him/her?”
– “Is he/she even there?!!”
2) THE CHAINSAW IS YOUR FRIEND.
-Now is the time to look at script economy.
-Why have your reader dying to finish after 4 pages when they could be craving for more after 2?
Ask yourself:
– “Where do my scenes begin? Where do they end?”
– “Can six lines be said in three?”
– “Can I trim the fat? Can I cut the exposition? Can I tell it visually instead?”
3) CRANK IT UP!
– The stakes are high – can they be higher?
– More to lose = More dramatic tension
Ask yourself:
– “Does everything matter enough? Can everything matter more?”
(Does the situation matter enough to the characters? If it matters more to the characters, the characters will matter more to the audience.)
– “Am I giving my characters hell? Is it fun to see them squirm and satisfying enough when they get out of it?”
Assignment 6 (Final Draft) : 20%
-Write a final draft of your original 1 – 2 page story
-Write it in 3rd person / Present Tense
-Use 12-pt Courier New / Single Spaced
No less than 1 page and no more than 2 pages
Besides writing your Name, Student Number and Tutorial Group, also label your story as “FINAL DRAFT” and Date it.
-Submit a soft copy of your FINAL DRAFT into SAFEASSIGN (Note: If this is not done, your assignment will not be graded)
-FINAL DRAFT due 7th June 2012, 5pm, at THE FMS OFFICE. PLACE IT IN LESLIE TAN’S PIGEONHOLE (or give it to me in class).
Lupin Hills 