Just yonder, Reamus was struggling to make his way through the forest behind Eugene’s place. Reamus had severely hurt his face during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral rabbits suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iPhone. One by one they latched on to Reamus. Already weakened from his injury, Reamus yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of rabbits running off with his iPhone.
About four hours later, Reamus awoke, his neck throbbing. It was dark and Reamus did not know where he was. Deep in the muddy desert, Reamus was abundantly lost. Subsequently, he remembered that his iPhone was taken by the rabbits. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That’s when, to his horror, a teensy rabbit emerged from the forest. It was the alpha rabbit. Reamus opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the rabbit sunk its teeth into Reamus’s chest. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Reamus’s lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than seven miles away, Eugene was entombed by anguish over the loss of the iPhone. ‘MY PRECIOUS!!’ he cried, as he reached for a sharpened stapler. With a heroic thrust, he buried it deeply into his chest. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Reamus… wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the iPhone that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn’s reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant rabbits, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would’ve lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. 😥
Lupin Hills 